When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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