STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
