It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
