So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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