I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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