i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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