ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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