let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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