I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
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