Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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