I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
