i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
