The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
