is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
