Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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