Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
