Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
