your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
cat food counts as protein by the way
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
