i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I will be naked everywhere
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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