Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
