I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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