gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
