I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
