U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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