She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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