You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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