I think i peed on brittanys purse
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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