Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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