I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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