Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
