3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
