absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
They are going to name an STD after you.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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