I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
