I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize