listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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