One girl and one boy is just not enough.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize