went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
