last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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