At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize