I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
