I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
