Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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