That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
