If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
