New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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