When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
