My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize