Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
