you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
