cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
