seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
