You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
