Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
