I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
