moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
