we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
