windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
