I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
