The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
