he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My penis needs a shock collar
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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