Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
