I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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